Shayne Elliott worked his way up the ladder to a senior position in Citibank, in London. When his father in Auckland was dying of cancer, he went to tell his boss he wanted to resign so he could be with his dad over the time he had left. His boss said there was no reason for Shayne to resign. Go and do what you have to do, he said. If you have time or the opportunity, you can do some work while you’re away. Shayne spent the next six months with his dad until he passed away, doing the occasional bit of work when he could. He never forgot the empathy and compassion his boss showed him by allowing him to move countries to be with his father. When people come to him now with difficult personal issues, he is able to empathise and pay forward some of the compassion he received at a crucial time in his life.
People face personal challenges at different times in their lives. Leaders who empathise and demonstrate their compassion build trust and loyalty.
A study by Jonathan Haidt at New York University shows that employees value empathy from leaders and repay it with loyalty, as Shayne Elliott’s story illustrates. Haidt says, ‘The more employees look up to their leaders and are moved by their compassion or kindness (a state he terms elevation), the more loyal they become to him or her. So, if you are more compassionate to your employee, not only will he or she be more loyal to you, but anyone else who has witnessed your behaviour may also experience elevation and feel more devoted to you.’
These leadership insights from Shayne Elliott are outlined in more detail in the new book, which Dean Phelan and I co-authored – The Gentle Art of Leadership. The perspectives we gathered from our interviews with 50+ leaders from around the globe and the original research we drew on, form the basis of the book.
Shayne has recently retired from ANZ effective May 12, 2025. He was with ANZ for 15 years and led the bank as CEO for the last nine and a half years. In announcing his retirement he said, ‘As custodian, my role was to ensure I left the bank in better shape than I found it – stronger, simpler, and more capable. I believe that, together with the ANZ team, we have accomplished that.’
The tributes that followed Shayne’s retirement announcement emphasised how his people-first leadership set a new benchmark in Australian banking. Shayne exemplifies the gentle art of leadership, and we pay tribute to him and wish him well in his next chapter.
🙋♀️ What experiences have you had that highlights the value of empathy and compassion in building stronger relationships and achieving better outcomes? 🙋
Best regards, Brian
PS: If you want to build stronger relationships, get in touch to explore how the Personality and Behaving Transactionally Program could help you.